life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

May I have a little more courage...please?

Today is first day of class day and I am patiently waiting for my courage and self-confidence to kick in.  EVERY first day of class I wait for it to arrive.  And every first day, regardless of how many times I have done this or how confident I am about the material,  I am still scared shitless and nervous. I wonder if I will ever truly believe that doing this, doing what I love is just not too good to be true and may blow up in my face any moment now.  And then I realize doing anything else would be dangerously close to normal.  This takes so much courage and commitment but it gives back so much more.  More than I can possibly explain and always always  always  worth it!

"Digging for Your Dream"  Indigo Girls

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