life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

May I have a little more courage...please?

Today is first day of class day and I am patiently waiting for my courage and self-confidence to kick in.  EVERY first day of class I wait for it to arrive.  And every first day, regardless of how many times I have done this or how confident I am about the material,  I am still scared shitless and nervous. I wonder if I will ever truly believe that doing this, doing what I love is just not too good to be true and may blow up in my face any moment now.  And then I realize doing anything else would be dangerously close to normal.  This takes so much courage and commitment but it gives back so much more.  More than I can possibly explain and always always  always  worth it!

"Digging for Your Dream"  Indigo Girls

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