Normal has never been what I have aspired to. In fact, I would say for the most part it has been just the opposite. If it was normal, I seemed to be almost repulsed by it. So here is what scares me …when you get sick…the one thing you want more than anything is to be normal again. This is the unspoken conundrum…if at my source, I do not want to be normal….why the hell, when it comes to this disease, am I trying so hard to be like everyone else…normal? What the hell was I thinking??? Normal ….I never was normal…I do not know how to do normal! And I suspect if by some strange reason I did figure out what normal was…I would probably hate it. What I need is for life to be amazing mind-blowing, stunning, unexpected, astonishing and extraordinary…..disease or not….ahhhh…..that feels much better!..I can do this!!!
"Unwritten" Paula Cole
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