life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Saturday, September 9, 2017

The "me first" mentality...

Perhaps it has been functioning in the Irma hurricane frenzy that has really exacerbated the absolute lack of patience and kindness in people. I have witnessed more examples of the worst side of “me first” behavior I think I have ever seen in such a short amount of time.  It has also made me grossly aware of my own boundaries and shortcomings.  The lesson I have taken away from this is I have become grossly aware of how much rude and outrageous “me first” behavior we are all exposed to every day and I have learned to accept them as normal or am I so desperate for approval myself that I allow and accept it? I know I can never change or undo the behavior of others, but I can take care of my heart by avoiding the situations, or not allow myself to be caught up in the orbit of others approval.  I know some think I should speak out against the bad behavior, that ignoring it is just another way of approving of it.  But maybe this is my way of “me first” and I am not particularly proud of it.
"Got to Do Better"  Eric Bibb

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