life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Sunday, July 2, 2017

"a vibrant hope for the excitement of the unknown"

A little Sunday morning religion (or lack thereof). Every now and again someone who really means well, tells me they are praying for me. I smile and thank them but I am never really sure what that means. Does that mean they are praying for me to live longer, or live without pain, or maybe they are praying that when I die I am going to their idea of heaven?  For the most part, I admire their commitment to their faith, other times I am a bit frustrated that they feel that their religion will make me feel better.  The reality is that their faith...only makes them feel better and that is ok if it does.  To be perfectly honest, I am not sure what if any religion I am.  I know I am a believer in the Universe or some kind of undefinable spirituality and I do truly believe that love is now and always will be the unknowable answer. I only hope that that is the unknown that can only be known after death.  I see what I am living through now as just another part of life, a part that most of us are going to experience at some time.  And as far as what happens to me after I die…I do not know. All I can tell you for sure is that I do indeed have a gypsy soul and a vibrant hope for the excitement of the unknown...and I am good with this.  I cannot be afraid of what I do not know...I just hope, like everyone else that it is amazing!
"Closer to Fine" Indigo Girls

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