life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Sunday, July 30, 2017

I am enough!

I love manifestos!  They make me feel so empowered, militant and fierce!  I have a life full of things I am proud of but they are dotted with stupendous bouts of beating myself up.  It maybe one of the things that I do best…I am an expert!  This unique talent started way before I got sick, but I have gotten even better since, after all, I have a whole new set of circumstances to blame myself for.  It always begins with “Damn it, if I had only_______(fill in the blank).”  I still wrestle with self-worth and I was sure by this age I would have whipped that.  I wonder if anyone ever really gets past that.  So for right now…and for all of the “right nows” I get…I have to remember that I am enough....right now.
"Hammer & Nails"  Indigo Girls

No comments:

Post a Comment