life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Friday, July 14, 2017

"There is no reason not to..."

I know that must sound horrible to most…but there are some perks to being in this position!  Well, maybe not the “naked” part….believe me no one wants to see that!  The raw honest fact of life is, I am not the only one dying….we all are.  I know that must sound ugly of me….but there is some kind of really weird sense of cosmic satisfaction that I am not alone in this, however, I get the feeling most think I am. I remember being with a dying loved one, it never occurred to me that one day…. it would be me. I am not the first among the people I know that will have to do this but I will surely not be the last.  I do not think it is early or before my time, it will just be “my time” and the great part is that for the first time in my life….I truly have nothing to lose.
 "You Had Time"  Ani DiFranko

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