life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Thursday, July 13, 2017

another can of worms....

Learning how to live through failures and disappointments is another can of worms.

I always felt the best way to deal with a failure or disappointment was to put on my big girl panties, never show (or share) any emotion, learn the lesson and move on.  I am learning that divorcing my feelings from my failures may not have been a good thing.  Oh, I will admit that it looked good and you all think I am so strong, I do like that.  Sometimes there is no silver lining, convincing myself that these failures are “lessons” and should be seen as only that without any feelings have not always served me well. I need to learn how to take the time to grieve the loss, admit the mistake, feel the sorrow, and acknowledge the hurt in its simplest form.  For me, that means NOT making up a story that justifies the disappointment or my feelings.

I need to learn how to truly feel and allow the sorrow and grief to move through me without needing to blame someone or myself.  I want to take more and more and more control over how I feel, it is truly the only thing that is mine and mine alone.

 "Same Mistakes" Echo Friendly

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