life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Evoke a genuine smile.....

Life has been about a vicious cycle in the last few years.  You can see how it somewhat follows the Elizabeth Kubler-Ross model of death and dying, but I am certain when this was written it was not about chronic terminal disease.  The frustrating part is that you do work through the “steps” of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.  But then you find that acceptance sucks and denial feels so much better.  I am going to be better to my precious life and chase some dreams, I may not be able to break this cycle but just recognizing that it exists and where I am in it I am hoping will make a good change in my own day to day expectations! I want an exciting, unique and precious life and I need chase some more amazing dreams!
"Run Around"  Blues Traveler

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