life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Sunday, February 5, 2017

Perfect Sense....

Wish I could explain why art makes my life so much better, it just does!  I got official clearance (with a little additional equipment) from the hospice Doc to go to New York and soak in all the art my heart can handle.  And so we are!  Part of me is scared to death, I have been so “tied” down to this area because they had access to my medical records,  they accepted my insurance, had the facilities to attend to an S-ICD and quite frankly and honestly I was just afraid.  The original attack happened out of town and it was horrible, not for me, well I take that back it was pretty raunchy for me, but for friends and family that wanted to be there with me.  But letting go has brought me such a sense of freedom!  So yes, my pragmatic logical mind is scared to death, there is a little voice screaming in the back of my head “what are you thinking?”, “you might NEED that money later on!”, “do you really think this is a smart thing for you to be doing?”  And then my heart answers, how can you not go, and be surrounded with amazing art in spectacular museums and galleries and  if not now…..when?  I do not much care for the typical touristy things.  I am taking my heart to revel in the art and all of the sudden that goofy saying marketing slogan…I HEART NY makes perfect sense.

"Doing the Things that We Want To"  Lou Reed

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