life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Sunday, February 5, 2017

Perfect Sense....

Wish I could explain why art makes my life so much better, it just does!  I got official clearance (with a little additional equipment) from the hospice Doc to go to New York and soak in all the art my heart can handle.  And so we are!  Part of me is scared to death, I have been so “tied” down to this area because they had access to my medical records,  they accepted my insurance, had the facilities to attend to an S-ICD and quite frankly and honestly I was just afraid.  The original attack happened out of town and it was horrible, not for me, well I take that back it was pretty raunchy for me, but for friends and family that wanted to be there with me.  But letting go has brought me such a sense of freedom!  So yes, my pragmatic logical mind is scared to death, there is a little voice screaming in the back of my head “what are you thinking?”, “you might NEED that money later on!”, “do you really think this is a smart thing for you to be doing?”  And then my heart answers, how can you not go, and be surrounded with amazing art in spectacular museums and galleries and  if not now…..when?  I do not much care for the typical touristy things.  I am taking my heart to revel in the art and all of the sudden that goofy saying marketing slogan…I HEART NY makes perfect sense.

"Doing the Things that We Want To"  Lou Reed

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