life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Sunday, February 12, 2017

Is it live...

or is it memorex….…..or is it just fear. 

It is hard to know sometimes what this body is or is not going to do. It does not seem to be my body anymore. It operates totally independent of my wants, needs and wishes…. and that is the one of most difficult parts of this!  It is the question I ask myself each time I want to do something and I am not so sure (or am afraid) that I will not be able to.  So rather than risk failure or worse “pay” for it with absolute inability to do anything for the next day or so. I find myself “conserving energy” or at least that seems to be the acceptable medical explanation for giving up, making tradeoffs and deciding what are the things that I really want to accomplish.  Is it giving up…giving in...or is it just fear?

"You Can't Rush....."  Trevor Hall

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