life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Friday, May 22, 2015

Strength & energy hiding in the darkness

And the part of the story that is the hardest is being totally aware of what parts of myself are not working like they used to.  Frustration does not begin to describe the loss. The darkness it creates can be overwhelming.

And then....this made me realize that there could be a ton of strength and energy hiding in that emotional “darkness”  I need to let go of the fear of the dark, go in there and find the tenderness,the strength, the energy that is waiting for me.

"Here Comes the Sun"  The Beatles

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