life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Sunday, May 3, 2015

m&m breakfast

"Lacking a coherent view of how people might live successfully all the way to their very end, we have allowed our fates to be controlled by the imperatives of medicine, technology, and strangers.”
Dr. Atul Gawande
“Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End”
It is going to be another week of information and decisions, decisions and even more decisions.  After a slew of new medicines, I see a new doctor (a.k.a stranger) with a new set of solutions technologyICD, internal cardiac defibrillator. CRAP.... I managed to hit all 3 of Dr. Gawande's imperatives in 2 weeks and it pretty much sucks! That is what I am thinking this morning with my peanut m&m’s.
"You and Your Heart "  Jack Johnson          
yes, I know this is not an appropriate breakfast
 but I do inappropriate so well!

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