life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Monday, May 4, 2015

Breaking Silence...


Just so you know…this is not a journey, not unless you want to pay for the trip! It sucks…I am tired all of the time…pain kicks my ass and it hurts…and if that is not bad enough wait until the bills start rolling in.  I should be having a hell of a lot more fun, for this kind of money.  Do not feel like being nice, lady like, kind, understanding, accepting or philosophical about life.  I am hurt, angry, and mad…I do not want to do this anymore, it really sucks!  
                         
"Breaking Silence"  Janis Ian
and after reading  the past few posts, 
it is entirely possible that there is
a tid-bit of bipolar thrown in!
AUGHHH!

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