life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Wednesday, January 28, 2015


There she goes again…..
There are days that fear takes over, and it has nothing to do with how good I feel, how much success I have had, or where I am.  Fear is a wicked little thing that sees a minute crack in my self-esteem and it rushes in consuming all of my confidence and will.  Then it grows and grows and grows until I am filled with self-doubt and am paralyzed. 
I cannot predict when that fear arrives, all I know is when it is here I have just got to focus on that little spark.

"There She Goes" ortoPilot

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