life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Saturday, January 3, 2015

I think this is what the doctors call "denial".

Another artist’s video I saw, says art, her art lets her express emotions and then walk away from them.  I am not certain I have ever heard that explained so well.  She finally put amazing words to an indescribable feeling. 

I was dealt a medical blow and there it is all over the canvas.  I do not know if the work is good or not, and quite frankly it does not matter, what I do know is that all of those negative, hurtful feelings are there on the canvas and not in me. I can stand back and look at them, rather than allowing them to stay inside of me causing fear and pain. 

I am not afraid, and the doctor keeps calling it denial, they truly no nothing about me. 
And…..Nude Nite is coming…..it is a 2-fer!  Even better!
"Heal Yourself"  Ruthie Foster

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