life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Friday, May 30, 2014

Complicated life

Some find it so easy, they follow all of the rules, make plenty of money, have perfect bodies, pets, children, and front yards. I often wonder why it has always been so hard for me.  I thought I wanted all of these things, always felt like a huge failure because I just could not seem to attain them.  The reality is if I  had wanted them bad enough I have no doubt I could have produced them.  The question has always been why did I not want what everyone else wants? If I did not want these things then what do I want? My life is full, some is good, some is bad. Some is complicated, some  parts very simple.  Some parts people would understand, other parts they would not.  Some of my life is an open book others I keep well hidden.  This is the life I know…

              " Life I know"      Inda Arie

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