life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Monday, May 19, 2014


Maybe the miracle is my life, my art, my love and I am just expecting too much....
Maybe I need to spend more time rejoicing in all that I have.
Maybe I should be chasing the life that I have control of rather than the cures that someone else controls. Control that I have to schedule, and pay for.
Is that how healing really happens?
I do not recall a single miracle that required an appointment or a co-pay.  Am I looking in the wrong place for healing?
Where is my Fairy Godmother?  I need you now!

"Iris"  The Goo-Goo Dolls
"And I don't want the world to see me, 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am"

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