life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


.

.
Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Friday, May 16, 2014

I suspect...




I suspect the "hard" part is beginning.
I suspect fear will be the hardest part, not what my heart is or is not doing.
I want to be present, I want to know, I want to feel it all.
The good as well as the bad...I suspect there is going to be a lot of cookies!
As long as I am not having to eat cookies by myself, I suspect I am going to be just fine.


"Dust to Dust"  The Civil Wars

Yesterday the latest test results show my EF is down to 25-30, and a heart valve is failing.  New round of ass kicking drugs, then more tests, then a possible discussion (I am not thinking this is a good idea, but will listen) about surgical repair of the valve.

No comments:

Post a Comment