life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Friday, May 16, 2014

I suspect...




I suspect the "hard" part is beginning.
I suspect fear will be the hardest part, not what my heart is or is not doing.
I want to be present, I want to know, I want to feel it all.
The good as well as the bad...I suspect there is going to be a lot of cookies!
As long as I am not having to eat cookies by myself, I suspect I am going to be just fine.


"Dust to Dust"  The Civil Wars

Yesterday the latest test results show my EF is down to 25-30, and a heart valve is failing.  New round of ass kicking drugs, then more tests, then a possible discussion (I am not thinking this is a good idea, but will listen) about surgical repair of the valve.

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