life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Friday, May 16, 2014

I suspect...

I suspect the "hard" part is beginning.
I suspect fear will be the hardest part, not what my heart is or is not doing.
I want to be present, I want to know, I want to feel it all.
The good as well as the bad...I suspect there is going to be a lot of cookies!
As long as I am not having to eat cookies by myself, I suspect I am going to be just fine.

"Dust to Dust"  The Civil Wars

Yesterday the latest test results show my EF is down to 25-30, and a heart valve is failing.  New round of ass kicking drugs, then more tests, then a possible discussion (I am not thinking this is a good idea, but will listen) about surgical repair of the valve.

No comments:

Post a Comment