life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Tuesday, May 27, 2014


Heart failure and pills…what they do not tell you, is that these pills will never make you feel better. I always thought that was the purpose of medicine. All they do is “slow down” the progress of the heart failure while compromising the quality of life now.
They embezzle life!
I am in a different position now. Now the pills.... we hope will stave off a surgical procedure to fix a valve, and the question is….would that procedure do more damage than good. So I take the pills, I struggle with incredible tiredness.  I wonder if I am doing the right thing or am I giving into traditional medical intervention out of fear? Are these latest pills life embezzlers or my salvation?
Trying so hard to see this latest round of medical intervention from a new, positive, hopeful, optimistic light.

"Jagged Little Pill" (you live, you learn)  Alanis Morrisette

I am certain you are tired of reading about my complaints, but if I complain here then I get it out, and no one else has to listen to me whine and grumble. Believe one wants to hear what this feels like.

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