life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Sunday, February 11, 2018

wasted time....





YEEEEE-OUCH! I do not think anyone ever taught me how to determine what is worth my time…I mean clearly, there was do a good job, take care of your children, clean your house and yard oh yes and go to church!  Sounded reasonable to me….everyone else was doing it…You know what else they were doing? They were talking about, criticizing, making fun of, and getting angry about anyone that did not do it just like they did.  I look back and I wonder…why did I ever care if they did it the same way I did?  After choosing not to do it “their” way, and yes a good part of that is a natural outcrop of age, I realize and grieve about how much time and life I lost…I am not wasting any more time!  Living, loving, laughing, nothing else seems important anymore.
"Light on"  Mark Ballas

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