life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

A naked exposed heart is so disgustingly poetic!

It never gets old…the excitement of delivery day came with some new crappy stuff.  I woke up at 4 AM  yesterday… have no idea why…just did…so I am going to chalk some of this to being excited about delivery day mixed with just plain lack of sleep tired.  Excitement and exhaustion stirred together with muscle pulls caused by pulling myself up and down in and out of the van and perhaps last nights chest pains have a simple explanation. These pains were different than I have ever had before.  I will confess for the first time I was kind of scared.  I have had two weeks of unexplained elevated BP, and when I ask why…The nurse looks at me over his glasses, with that “really, you are asking me that" look and answers with a hint of sarcasm…you have a cardiac condition.   It is the day before Nude Nite opens and Valentine’s Day after all...if my heart is going to act up… today would be the day.  A naked exposed heart is so disgustingly poetic!
"All About Your Heart"  Mindy Gledhill

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