life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Thursday, February 1, 2018

On a Carousel...

One of the best days....
That day comes fairly regularly!  I get all of those things, amazing journey, responsibility, life quality and every Jan.1 I proclaim to myself this new sense of renewal and by Feb.1 it is over.  So the question is,  am I a big failure?  Do I just continue to set my goals way out of my reach?  Or (and here is the scary one) on some really sadistic way do I enjoy beating myself up by constantly failing?  And then the next big ass question is, if I recognize this failure merry-go-round, why the hell am I having such a hard time getting off of it?
"On a Carousel" Hollies

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