Ups & Downs…at the same time???? This week I am learning that I have a new kind of up & down…that involves ups & downs happening at the same time…and it is really weird…and incredibly difficult to explain!
Ed…the hospice nurse, in his delightful accent, has said several times over the past weeks…. “You are doing really good in the context of this disease”. I do not really know what the context of this disease is, it is the first time I have had this, all I know is when I feel good, and when I do not. In the context of this disease or any disease for that matter means…"can I keep doing what I want to do and/or is there any pain?” And there is truly very little pain… and nitroglycerin can relieve it in literally seconds… So as far as I am concerned, other than getting tired very quickly, I am always doing good!
But he promises me .....there are more meds ordered and on the way to help me manage this new set of challenges….
Emotionally UP and physically DOWN…at the same time… is a very weird and difficult emotional territory…
"Golden Slumbers-Carry the Weight" The Beatles
And in the end,
the love you take,
is equal to the love you make,