life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Monday, June 5, 2017

I am RED!

So…RED seems to be the color of the day!  This morning I took one of those goofy Facebook personality quizzes and according to them, I am red.  I am ok with that…kind of sounds like me…But the day got “redder” when I went in for my 3 month GP checkup…
Now just about the time I think I have a handle on this disease and I think I know what I am dealing with…I get another rock thrown at me.  Today we begin routinely drawing blood to monitor anemia.  WHAT?  That was NOT in the handbook! But, apparently it is just another no “big deal” part of this, and I had a…Kind of “You have got to be “friggin” kidding me” moment.  The stinking reality is it does make sense.  As the organs began slowing down and struggling it does kind of make sense that they are unable to process the nutrients from the food I eat or enough o2 from the air I breathe…although I am “hitting” the O2.

And I wonder if this is it for the surprises or there are more waiting for me. ….but according to Facebook  “I AM Red?” and there is no stopping me either!
"Wonderful Unknown" Ingrid Michealson

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