life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Despicable square holes


I am not sure if I am officially a “crazy one”.  It just seems to be all about who I am standing next to.  When I am with incredibly straight, follow other people's rules, non-creative people I do feel like the crazy one.  But then maybe it is just their “brand” of crazy is different from mine and there are a lot more of them.   I wish they all understood….there are parts of all of us round pegs that wished we fit into those despicable square holes.  But then I think, the real frustration does not come from NOT fitting in...it is so much MORE difficult to fit in.  I do not understand why anyone wants to fit in.  I don't think we set out to change anything, we are just trying to make it work for "us"....and sometimes, if we are really lucky we accidentally change something for the ones we are standing next to.
"Saving Myself"  Ed Sheeran

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