life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


.

.
Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

I am just starting over.....

I am not giving up, I am living!  Today was the day I have been hoping for, wishing for, begging the Universe for!  Today is the day I officially stepped off of the curative-care medical merry-go-round and can finally, finally begin living the best life I can.  No more PET scans, heart caths, echo-cardiograms, stress tests, surgeries, defibrillators, hospitals, cardiologists or endless insurance/doctor billing nightmares.  Today I officially begin palliative care!  Not yet hospice, (got way too much to do before I start that) although this palliative care will fold into it seamlessly when it is time.  Today (well technically Jan.1, 2017) I begin living my amazing life from the place where I can quit emotionally, physically and financially chasing the ridiculous na├»ve goal of curing heart failure.  Today is the day I get to begin living the best life possible with the medical (medicine) help I need!  NOW I stop wasting my energy, my time and my money on the manic struggle of curing the incurable and begin spending all I have, every single bit of it…. on living…playing…loving…and creating!  Today the rest of my amazing wonderful life begins!  I am not giving up….I am starting over with a new goal of having the most remarkable life I can possibly have!
"There She Goes" OrtoPilot

No comments:

Post a Comment