life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Friday, December 18, 2015

holding on....

I have tried so hard to understand why he is in my life….clearly there is something I have to learn, he is still here and I continue to reach out.  But each time I come away frustrated, baffled, lost, hurt and almost angry.  I would like to search for our lessons together, but I do not think that is going to happen, we are in such different places.  “I am going to have to let the tender darkness do the holding on for a while.”

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