life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Tuesday, December 1, 2015

not waiting...

No they cannot break me.  The current medical industry disregards me  Their need to control my personal information, translates into controlling me and my medical decision making.  It puts me in emotional fragile territory and this time keeps my life on “hold” unable to make commitments for  anything, waiting to hear if the ICD is a going to be implanted or not.   I have been struggling with this for the past month. 

At the risk of sounding like a cynical conspiracy theorist, when the test results are not what they expected or contrary to their expectations, they delay and avoid me.  I cannot wait any longer; I do not want to postpone any more life.  I am moving forward…It is my body…It is my life, I want to be living not waiting.
"Arms Around my Life"  Janis Ian

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