life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Monday, December 21, 2015

Beginning again...

Today is the day!  Finally…the day is here and the last surgery…it is almost over…one quick overnighter and a “back up battery” and I am good to go.  Ready to start a new life and New Year with a little bionic hut-spa!  I will confess that I hate hospitals, but I do not think that comes as a surprise to anyone, any I am nervous about having electrical “equipment” implanted and a bit apprehensive about what the “shocks” will feel like or how often I will get them, but on the flip side I think some of the anxiety I have had for years and have just learned to cope with may finally go away and a whole new freedom will arise!  I am ready….let’s get it done….I am ready for it to be over so I can begin again!

"Heal Yourself"  Ruthie Foster

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