life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Monday, December 21, 2015

Beginning again...

Today is the day!  Finally…the day is here and the last surgery…it is almost over…one quick overnighter and a “back up battery” and I am good to go.  Ready to start a new life and New Year with a little bionic hut-spa!  I will confess that I hate hospitals, but I do not think that comes as a surprise to anyone, any I am nervous about having electrical “equipment” implanted and a bit apprehensive about what the “shocks” will feel like or how often I will get them, but on the flip side I think some of the anxiety I have had for years and have just learned to cope with may finally go away and a whole new freedom will arise!  I am ready….let’s get it done….I am ready for it to be over so I can begin again!

"Heal Yourself"  Ruthie Foster

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