life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Sunday, December 27, 2015

good enough.....

I am afraid of so many things, but the one thing I am not so afraid of is to talk about what or why I never feel good enough.  And here is the thing….each time I share my fears, others seem to know just what I am talking about.  They know these fears, too.  There are so many of us that seem to not feel good enough, not smart enough, not skinny enough, not pretty enough….not perfect. And although I know all of the intellectual reasons that all of these new bumps and scars on my chest do not define me, when I look in the mirror they scream loud and clear "you are so ugly", "you are broken", "how could anyone love this?" at me.  

I think I should start a club and with the single mission of getting rid of the word perfect!  Good enough is my new perfect!

"Body Love, Part 1 & 2"  Mary Lambert