life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Courageous decisions

I do not know exactly how to let go, then I realize they were never really there.  Because I wanted them to be there, or others thought they were, does not make it so. We played the parts and did it well, but never shared the real feelings that go with the relationship. Relationships communicate on a heart level….we never have. I am only letting go of an "idea" that I thought should be, but never really was. Relationships are not automatic, it has to be acknowledged, honored, celebrated, shared.  I ask forgiveness and understanding, but I am losing something I never really had, but it hurts anyway.  My heart will always be open to what can be. 
"For the Good"  Kristin Chenoweth, Idina Menzel

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