life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Tuesday, March 3, 2015

As a bona fide control freak...


I cannot control what my physical heart does and I have tried! It has such a mind of it's own. Some days it feels like I am me, with absolutely no limitations, or evidence of heart failure, other days it rears it's ugly head announcing itself with swollen feet and hands, then it refuses to support even the easiest activities regardless of of my intent.

I am learning now how to listen but to hear my heart.  The only thing I have any control over is how I react to the day to day changes and challenges.
And....
as a bonafide control freak....


"The Heart of Life"  John Mayer

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