Forgiveness....

"Do not turn your anger in on yourself. This is what you are doing when you think you aren’t doing this right, that you’re the one messing up your continued connection, that you should be better at this. Notice you’re angry. Call it that. Name it for what it is, don’t turn it on yourself. The answer to constriction and anger is to name it, not beat on yourself.

Anger, allowed expression, is simply energy. It's a response. Allowed expression, it becomes a fierce, protective love--for yourself, for the one you've lost, and in some cases, gives you the energy to face what is yours to face. Shown respect and given room, anger tells a story of love and connection and longing for what is lost. There is nothing wrong with that.

All of this is to say that your anger surrounding your loss is welcome. It's healthy. It's not something to rush through so you can be more "evolved" or acceptable to the people around you. Find ways to give your sense of injustice and anger a voice. When you can say you're angry, without someone trying to clean it up or rush you through it, it doesn't have to twist back on itself."

~Megan Devine

I have found that cleaning out closets, cupboards, under beds is allowing some of this anger to feed back into some positive movement.  There is an additional frustration when this body refuses to work like I need it to.  It feels so wrong and then I am guilty of being angry with him, so I appreciate so much that Megan Devine can explain that it is not just me, this as a way to tell my story of love and connection for what I have lost.  And yes, there were times Skip & I were angry with each other, but we still loved each other. I have to learn how to forgive him for dying and leaving me and forgive myself for being angry that I am alone and having those overwhelming feelings of selfish guilt.

"Forgiveness" Matthew West