TA-DA!

There have been so many “to-dos” recently, actually perhaps most of my life it feels like there have been more than my share of “to-do’s”!  WARNING: Grousing ahead…. When I was working, taking care of children, house, and husband I watched friends and family managing all of it so gracefully and have the time and resources to still take time off, go on great vacations, go out to dinner, date nights, yard services, new cars, and homes….etc…etc..  I hid my frustration and jealousy and soldiered on with the implied promise that if I kept my nose to the grindstone and shoulder to the wheel that all of those good things would come my way.  In addition to that if I did MORE there would be MORE. That is not how it always works and I had this ongoing oppressive feeling of being pissed off all of the time.  The “official rules” were if I did what I was supposed to-do, when I was supposed to-do it…I should have more! 

Finally, I think I am beginning to figure it out.  All of this time I have been waiting for other people to tell me how good I was, other people to give me more money, other people to give me more time, appreciate me more or all of the other things I felt like I should have earned through my ever-expanding list of well accomplished “to-dos”.  I was living for and expecting accolades!

I wanted someone else to give me all of the things I was not willing to give to myself.  And I did not truly appreciate all of the intangible amazing things that I did have!  It is not now nor do I think it ever will be about doing more, but appreciating, celebrating and “ta-da-ing” regularly all that I do have!!!

Stand back….There are going to be a whole lot more “ta-das” in my life!

"Carry On" Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young