life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure. I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Tuesday, June 25, 2019

just citing the quote below!


Brought up in a small town in the “genteel” south, the value of a woman was definitely associated with her ability to stay in her Christian based “gender” role by “pleasing”…physically, socially and emotionally.  The unwritten but well-known rule was that expressing a different opinion or speaking up for one’s self was asking for disapproval, condemnation and ostracizing.

Living outside this community (and I suspect it may be the same for any small community) for well over 45 years now, I had forgotten how prevalent this was and I was overwhelmingly surprised at how widespread it still is! The past couple of years it has become unbelievably evident by my own FaceBook experience how deeply ingrained these antiquated and damaging feminine roles are!  I wonder if this is how so much of this dehumanizing destructive Republican right continues to hold some of its power? Are there some in my generation that still need to be “pleasing”?

When I post my daily quotes, which I have done since 2010, my intention was to simply begin my own day by putting something positive out into the universe. They have always been met with thumbs up and smiles….but recently, as I have been moved to express some of my respectful and fully researched moral outrage at the current political horror.  I notice that 99% of those posts have been met by negative and chastising men of my generation (or typically older) from that very same small southern town that I did most of my growing up in.  These responses from long ago acquaintances that I can barely identify have taken up the mantel of reforming me by name calling and other negative remarks that are clearly intended to publicly embarrass, chastise or reprimand me.  They are never intended to share educated differences of opinion or participate in intelligent statistical evidence or even engage in non-threatening humorous political satire. For a while, I decided that I could not handle all of the negativity and just quit posting anything other than my daily quotes.  Then I learned how to use the “delete” “unfriend” and “block” features on FB.  My opinions are valid, I do not expect everyone to agree with them.  I am an artist, I am used to it.  Not everyone likes what I paint or create, I do not feel the need to chastise them for not appreciating or buying my work nor do I allow their opinions to compromise my own creative talent (although sometimes that part is hard). If you do not agree with my FB political observations, please feel free to invoke the very same FB tools that I use…” delete”, “unfriend” and “block” me or even…GOD FORBID…. consider engaging in positive discourse.

As heart failure continues to restrain my physical body, it will not inhibit or compromise the strength of my thoughts or my voice.  I will not allow small minds and rude comments to handicap me further. I do not waste my time on responses to FB punitive rebukes ….  I will keep posting!
   
However, and happily…In the interest of full disclosure…I do know there are many intelligent, respectful, wonderful, creative, perceptive men in this and other small communities, I know some of them and I truly appreciate you even more than I did before!
"Chain of Fools"  Aretha

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