life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Tuesday, May 30, 2017

By the way…none of this is covered in the handbook

And this is just what it feels like….a friggen’ monster connected to a can of gas (or machine when at home)!  It just sucks to have those “hickies” poked up my nose.  I know you see them…some will mention it and that makes me uncomfortable….others will not, but I see the disbelief (or repulsion) in your face and that makes me uncomfortable too! So it really does not matter, I am going to just have to get used to being uncomfortable if I want to go outside, or teach, or show my work, or go on vacation or do any of the things I want to keep doing….None of this is for sissies….physically or emotionally.  By the way…none of this is covered in the handbook.

"Beautiful" India Arie

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