life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Saturday, July 5, 2014

What I want...laughing, living, loving!

You know what???? Marilyn is absolutely right! Another round of overwhelming depression. Is it really the a result of living with a chronic disease…as I have been told?  Out of desperation I looked up the meds, one of them listed severe depression as the #1 side effect. Now I understand why they keep asking me this at rehab, explaining that heart failure is a huge cause of depression and then depression will make heart failure worse. Well NO SHIT…when the meds you have me on also cause depression…..what chance do I have? This has got to stop, anything or even nothing has to be better than this! The meds have got to go, because at this point it is exactly what I want. I want to laugh, love, enjoy my life ….not this!

"All the Right Moves"  One Republic

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