life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Saturday, July 5, 2014

What I want...laughing, living, loving!

You know what???? Marilyn is absolutely right! Another round of overwhelming depression. Is it really the a result of living with a chronic disease…as I have been told?  Out of desperation I looked up the meds, one of them listed severe depression as the #1 side effect. Now I understand why they keep asking me this at rehab, explaining that heart failure is a huge cause of depression and then depression will make heart failure worse. Well NO SHIT…when the meds you have me on also cause depression…..what chance do I have? This has got to stop, anything or even nothing has to be better than this! The meds have got to go, because at this point it is exactly what I want. I want to laugh, love, enjoy my life ….not this!


"All the Right Moves"  One Republic

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