The decision has always been mine, but making it has been a difficult one. I have wanted to claim it, but have been afraid.
Part of my upbringing firmly believed that a rule is a rule is a rule and you do NOT break rules. There is no forgiveness. What other people think IS important.
The other part of my upbringing believed in the rule up to the point that they wanted to break it. So if you could find enough reasons, blame someone else, or get a doctor’s note, well then, rules become optional.
Sorting out and finding my balance has been a struggle. My life as my journey, my gift that I and I alone am responsible is a wonderful description of the balance I have been looking for. My children are grown, the people I love will come to know that I alone am responsible for the quality of my life. The choices I make are getting eaisier but I am still wrestling with it. I am creating an amazing journey!
"Shaking the Tree" Peter Gabriel