life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Sacred

If there were really words that could in some way explain this journey….they would be here….I wish I could explain the battle I have with my own heart. The one thing that keeps me alive, the one thing that spiritually guides my emotions, is the thing that has turned on me. I am waging a medical, chemical war on my own heart. Thousands and thousands of dollars have been spent to test it, examine it, push it, medicate it and I forget to ask myself how do I feel about it. And when I finally do, it feels wrong. It is a spiritual fight between expectations and reality. I suspect it is a sacred war that has been going on since the beginning of time…there is nothing new here.


"Faith of the Heart"  Rod Stewart

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