life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Tuesday, July 8, 2014


If there were really words that could in some way explain this journey….they would be here….I wish I could explain the battle I have with my own heart. The one thing that keeps me alive, the one thing that spiritually guides my emotions, is the thing that has turned on me. I am waging a medical, chemical war on my own heart. Thousands and thousands of dollars have been spent to test it, examine it, push it, medicate it and I forget to ask myself how do I feel about it. And when I finally do, it feels wrong. It is a spiritual fight between expectations and reality. I suspect it is a sacred war that has been going on since the beginning of time…there is nothing new here.

"Faith of the Heart"  Rod Stewart

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