life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Wednesday, March 22, 2017

WANT to do

This has been going on so long I am not sure what normal is anymore.  I do not remember a time (other than recovering from illness or surgery) that I could not physically do anything I wanted to do.  Now I will confess there were many that laughed when I could not do it as good or as long as I wanted to, but there was no question that I could do it. As I recall…those were the times I was typically accused of being “hard headed”.  That name never bothered me, in fact I kind of wore it like a badge of honor, and it went well with the red hair.  Now I find myself questioning everything I want to do.  Am I strong enough?  Will my passion be enough to keep me going? No doctor ever explained the frustration that would happen between what I want to do and what my heart will allow my body to do…Somewhere in the back of my mind I felt like the more I could do the more I would be liked….


"Try" Colbie Caillat

1 comment:

  1. This to me has become the frustration of ageing...no matter the health issues. And you are correct...no one ever told us it would be like this!

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