life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Sunday, March 5, 2017

BUT…..I get to keep doing what I love!

This is a serious love-hate relationship!  Hate having to carry this thing around, Hate having tubes poked up my nose, Hate that for the first time since I have had heart failure that it is obvious ( I could pull off no one knowing before) and just Hate that it is an open obvious reminder that this is beginning to go downhill, and a constant reminder that this disease is marching on with or without my consent.  But I love that it gives me the ability to keep going, and I can still participate (albeit from a rather “edited” point of view).  In the past few weeks I have been able to deliver and participate in Nude Nite, went to St. Pete to see the Frida Kahlo exhibit, delivered art to the Osceloa Art Center for the “Creativa” Exhibit and screwed up my courage enough to continue mentoring at the Leesburg Art Festival next weekend. I love it and I hate it!  BUT…..I get to keep doing what I love!
"Save Myself"  Ed Sheeran

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