life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Sunday, April 3, 2016

...for no reason at all

It has been a week!  And although there was no one thing that could be considered the reason for a “break down” there seemed to be more than enough little things, one piled on top of the other that were surely the culprit.  Some of it I chose not to participate in, simply because there would never be a resolution.  I suspect in the long run that will be a good choice but it was not easy and hurt my heart  to make it.  The other was just another simple fact of life that the “medical industry is a business”, and clearly cannot serve the needs of patients and the needs of money at the same time.  (Which, by the way I walked away from, also….) Mix this in with a difficult exhibition install, out of town class, a loved one in the hospital and just day to day life.  I should not have been surprised.  A crying breakdown was inevitable.  Or maybe…..I just needed a good cry for no reason at all.

"Counting Stars"  Gardiner Sisers

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