life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Sunday, April 3, 2016

...for no reason at all

It has been a week!  And although there was no one thing that could be considered the reason for a “break down” there seemed to be more than enough little things, one piled on top of the other that were surely the culprit.  Some of it I chose not to participate in, simply because there would never be a resolution.  I suspect in the long run that will be a good choice but it was not easy and hurt my heart  to make it.  The other was just another simple fact of life that the “medical industry is a business”, and clearly cannot serve the needs of patients and the needs of money at the same time.  (Which, by the way I walked away from, also….) Mix this in with a difficult exhibition install, out of town class, a loved one in the hospital and just day to day life.  I should not have been surprised.  A crying breakdown was inevitable.  Or maybe…..I just needed a good cry for no reason at all.


"Counting Stars"  Gardiner Sisers

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