How do I sit, smile, nod my
head and say to myself “this is really shitty,” when I listen to the prognosis as they type into a computer terminal the new calibrations that “talk”
to the S-ICD implanted in my chest? Is there ever a time that I do not have to
be horribly grateful for the technology that keeps me alive? Do I ever just get to be pissed? Do I have the
time to feel the anger and the disappointment when there is so much other stuff
I have to do.
I have to do more of what I
love. I have something to
say, and need to speak. But most of all
I have to learn to love myself, If I need a hug, I have to be brave enough to
ask for a hug….and because I am dying, I have to live.
"The Come On" Janis Ian
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