life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Sunday, April 24, 2016

None to waste....


It is just that last part that I struggle with.  I am learning to fight for myself, but my fighting …as it turns out looks more like me walking away from or turning my back on those things that cause me pain and difficulty.   For the most part I think I am just about done with the fighting except fighting for my own physical heart.  I do not have the energy to waste on fighting.  Even if I win the fight, I will loose life in the battle. I would much rather spend the rest of my heart and energy on love.  I have none to waste on fighting.

"Waiting for my Real Life to Begin"  Colin Hay

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