life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Monday, April 4, 2016


I knew that title would get your attention!

When life gets difficult …this is my sure fire cure!

Although I have to confess that there may be a chance that life would not be as difficult in the first place, if I were better at loving myself.  I have some of the most magnificent friends (who by the way, put up with my outrageousness) and I do have the ability to create (in several different mediums) but I think I lean to hard on them and I am still woefully lacking in the “love yourself” concept.  Loving me has somehow gotten mixed up with being selfish.  They float around my life like 2 different flavors of partially melted Jello in a single bowl, almost impossible to separate the 2 different colors.  

It feels like loving me, sharing how I really feel makes me complicated, vulnerable, undone, exposed, NAKED …..

                      "Naked" Lakshimi Devi

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