life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Monday, November 25, 2013

On these days…I Need This...

On these days…
It is harder than it should be, it takes longer.
Proportion evades scale,
perspective is skewed.
I cannot trust my own emotions, they betray me.
I am incapable of receiving the love I do have,
Focusing on the pain of what I do not have.
I know these days are necessary,
But do these days have to hurt so much?
On these days…I want to quit, I need it to stop!

I need, The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, 
The weakness, I need this
I need A lullaby, A kiss goodnight, The angel sweet, Love of my life, Oh, I need this

"My Skin"  Natalie Merchant

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