life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Monday, November 25, 2013

On these days…I Need This...

On these days…
It is harder than it should be, it takes longer.
Proportion evades scale,
perspective is skewed.
I cannot trust my own emotions, they betray me.
I am incapable of receiving the love I do have,
Focusing on the pain of what I do not have.
I know these days are necessary,
But do these days have to hurt so much?
On these days…I want to quit, I need it to stop!

I need, The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, 
The weakness, I need this
I need A lullaby, A kiss goodnight, The angel sweet, Love of my life, Oh, I need this

"My Skin"  Natalie Merchant

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