life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Thursday, November 14, 2013

As Soon as They Know



Sometimes the hardest part of this happens when they find out or when I tell them.  Some are able to take it in stride, a short hick-up, and an I “never knew” and we move on, others seem almost betrayed, hurt and afraid. They will smile politely reply I am so sorry and in an instant I can feel the emotional withdrawal begin and they quietly back out of my life forever. Where is the book that teaches me how to do this?
The one thing I know is…. as soon as they know,everything is different and that is the part that I hate the most…I am still me nothing has changed! .


"All We Are, We Are"
 Matt Nathanson

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