life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Thursday, November 7, 2013

Pick a Good one...

All the years growing up, the years of young motherhood, the years of corporate politics, the years of family dysfunction and not one time in my considerable life did anyone tell me I was in charge of my own moods! I have to wonder how different things might have been if I was in control of emotions and moods rather than the other way around.

I still do not have total control over this, every now and again there is a foul mood sneak attack. The "I am mad at the world or vice versa the world is mad at me", "I feel so sorry for myself", and my personal favorite "nobody loves me" nasty moods will slip into my life when least wanted or expected!

For the first time in my life I have figured out that for the most part, I am in charge of my moods and to bastardize the words of Scarlett O’Hara “as God as my witness, I will never” be in a bad mood again. I am only picking the good ones!

There is beauty in the world I just have to know it is there and figure out how to see it. I am in charge!

 
"There is Beauty in the World" Macy Gray    

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