life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Keep Moving

My heart and soul had run dry and I looked outside of myself for help. At first it was not easy, I felt like I was giving me and my power away to fill those empty places, but when it brought so much incredible enjoyment it became easier and fun.

Now, when I stand outside my situation and observe.... I am watching those fun and fulfilling expectations turning into needy frustrating dependency.

I am learning that expectation is stealing my power and dependency embezzling my happiness.

If I want to keep my balance, I cannot expect or depend on anything from anyone but me.
I must keep moving.

"What a Fool Believes"  Doobie Brothers

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