I imagine there are oodles of people that think being “not-a-Christian “ is deliberately choosing to be evil and go to hell. But, I suspect those same people might automatically assume I am Christian if I claimed I was “not-a-Jew”, “not-a-Muslim” “not-a-Buddhist” or “not-a-Hindu”. There are some parts of each of those practices that I embrace wholeheartedly. There are other parts of those same religious tenets and doctrines that I cannot wrap my reasonable head and/or emotional heart around. With an open heart and an open mind, I have yet to find any one thing that makes a particular religion more holy, believable or evil than the other. The most frequent common denominator for religious belief is how we were raised and what we were taught as children, rarely is it our own mindful intelligent investigations. I am always astounded when a religion validates its relevancy with the fantastic, magic, unbelievable, fairy tale myths and fables. Perfectly intelligent, rational and matter of fact people will embrace these stories as fact without question. 
There are some women and most men that have been born and survive daily without the desirable “cooking gene”. Science has not yet unraveled the mysterious set of circumstances that prevent the cooking gene from developing in the normal human being. This DNA anomaly is a lifelong condition that literally millions of people live through daily! The most glaring evidence of this condition is an irrational fear of the kitchen, followed by panic outbreaks in grocery stores and an inability to follow recipes. For those of us living daily without the cooking gene…..Cooking is just another household chore, just one-step above cleaning the toilet. 
I have no problem with people of faith practicing it. I do have a problem with people that use faith as a justification for their (good and/or bad) behavior. Why can’t people do the right thing for no other reason other than it is the right thing, that it will not hurt others, that it is respectful and honorable? I am more shocked now than ever when horrendous behavior is revealed in our politicians and people that profess a faith still vote for them…Trump set the standard Moore is following in his footsteps...and the religious continue to support this heinous behavior.
Adventures come wrapped differently. I am loving working again in the studio, spending time with a part of me that I thought I had lost and I am looking forward to showing my art at the winery! But tucked in this adventure it seems like another one might be brewing. And YES I know I should not look up medical things on the internet…but after the second night of excruciating leg cramps I was desperate. Leg cramps are one of those frustrating things…you know it is not going to kill you…but good god they are painful! I have blamed them on needing more potassium (and taking another potassium pill night before last did seem to help) then I accused myself of being on my feet too much in the studio standing on concrete floors, I was even a bit suspicious of the hot bath I took that night to relieve the aching lower back. All of them possible causes and combined a very likely cause of leg cramps. Yesterday my legs felt like I had run a marathon, tired, achy and wobbly…so Tylenol and lots of quiet computer work, I stayed out of the studio, but last night the damn cramps woke me up again it! This morning in a frantic attempt to figure out how to stop this…I went to the Mayo site on the internet….I know…I know…bad move! Mayo lists muscle fatigue as a common cause- that fits…It also mentions other causes as pregnancy, definitely not (not unless there is a really really big star in the east)…age, well crap that figures, age factors in every stinking diagnosis….diabetes, that is a negative…and then kidney failure and my heart sinks. Is this the culprit? Ed (the nurse has been carefully monitoring kidney issues lately). I think I will make this a combo self-internet driven prognosis and just see it as another adventure….maybe it will not work out…but it can be an adventure, if that is what I want it to be! That or it is a sign to stay off of self-diagnosing internet sites!! 
My last meeting with my dearly loved hospice social worker was this week…She is being transferred to another district….even in hospice/palliative care…business often comes before patients….not often, but it does rear its ugly head from time to time. Patrice’s last visit came with a “checklist of business stuff” I have not done yet….ughhhh….Did you know in the state of Florida, I need to make a statement of where I want to die, home vs medical facility (or hospice facility)…well, I need to do that and fill out and file a quit claim deed to the house, and of course arrangements for my removal. All of this in addition to keeping up with bills and medical insurance! And although my ACHA “Florida Blue” policy is still available this year…they have discontinued Hospice as part of their covered service! I do not have any time left for being sick and I still have a bunch of stuff that I WANT TO DO! The "business of dying" is NOT for sissies. One more for the "who knew" column....there really does need to be a class on this somewhere!
Well I know that should make me feel all warm and fuzzy….but there is art everywhere! It means that I either need to sell some of this stuff, give it away, cannibalize some of the unsold pieces or god forbid…throw it away. I got militant yesterday! Frustrated by the lack of space…I decided to pull apart 2 of my giant “MONOLITHS”. 6’ x 12” x 12”…yep those are the right numbers…big tall square painted columns. They were at “Nude Nite” a couple of years ago. Regardless of how great they were, I needed the space...I was going to just pitch the whole mess once it was broken down…you know the old saying…” get rid of the old, to make space physically and emotionally for the new exciting ideas to arrive”? Well, it kind did not work exactly like that. Once the canvas was removed… I folded them up (who knows maybe I can reuse it someday)…then knocked the wood 3D stretcher apart…you know they could be built into something else too! So maybe it should be about recycling…yea that’s it! Recycling! Home is where my heart and art are! Home is where everything is!
Second Sunday Artist Salon! I do not think there is anything more powerful or spiritually uplifting than like minds having a wonderful thought-provoking conversation! And so it was, tucked among some of the bravest, creative people I know. Two hours flew by, and we probably could have gone another 2 hours without blinking an eye! It was a great evening…I am so lucky to have so many wonderfully talented people in my life…There is nothing more magic than a group of intelligent people that read the same information, can add their own opinions and “spit” an idea or a concept back out into the group in the form of marvelous conversation. How lucky I am to have such amazing creative friends! Thank you for such an inspiring evening!
and…..I do it so well! 
It began almost 7 years ago, the most amazing group of women artists got together every week, with wine, goodies and chocolate and the Julia Cameron book “Veins of Gold” (VoG). We worked through major life-changing events, cried, shared, supported, hugged, laughed and oh yes…drank a little wine! We finished the book and still gather from time to time to slog through life, sharing creative challenges and accomplishments. Full moons and fire always seem to be an occasion for us to celebrate! An amazing group of women that more than once have literally saved my emotional life! When we are together…I am free, I am safe and I am spiritually raised! I do not think I could survive without them. Filled with wine and goodies, bathed in moonlight and the warmth of the fire...that instant bond returns and all of the sudden I am filled with strength and energy! VoG women, you are the creative loves of my life! Thank you!
It is that time of year. For 5 years this time of year arrives after weeks of nail-biting worry, I am hoping above all hopes that my AHC (Obamacare) will remain the same. Every single year the Insurance company I chose left the state of FL…and not little no-name insurances either….Humana, Aetna, Humana (they came back after a year), Blue Cross, and Florida Blue. 
Maybe I am crazy….maybe I shouldn’t…but you know I will! I have not told anyone really because I do not want anyone talking me out of it. A huge part of my life has been missing and I need to get it back! I have spent the last few years doing everything I was supposed to do…well, kind of…and watching my life and my art fading. It has been miserable and I want it back! I know I am pushing, I know it is probably not a smart thing to do, but I would so much rather be sick doing this than sitting in the house with the TV playing, wasting this amazing life….I was accepted…The Lakeridge Winery Wine, Chocolate, Jazz and Art festival Dec 8-9-10 and I am doing it! So I am back in the studio, covered in chalk pastel and smiling from ear to ear…..but just in case you were wondering…yes…I am scared shitless!
